As a child, I deeply resented yet felt responsible for being the “mature strong” one in my family. I wore many masks to disguise my displeasure; however, it was impossible for me to hide chronic bronchitis that also plagued my childhood. Bronchitis filled me with a sense of shame and embarrassment. My cough was extremely loud, and I didn’t want anyone to know how sick I really was. I had developed what is now called COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease), an “incurable” disease that plagued me for 27 years. In the latter years of the disease, I had to be heavily medicated to prevent me from coughing up blood. The side effects of my prescribed medication left me in a stupor tantamount to zombies from The Walking Dead. When I reflect on that time of my life, I recognize the masks that I wore. I was the mature adult-child, overachieving student, workaholic perfectionist professional, and the matriarchal glue that held the family together. It was a tremendous load to carry, but I couldn’t figure out how to lay my burdens down.
It took me a long time to unpack the tug of war between my resentment and perceived obligation to wear these masks — even longer to recognize the pathology that swirled in the midst of it. Workaholism became my coping mechanism for suppressing painful memories of my early childhood. In fact, I can trace most of my imbalances back to some event that threw me off my center during my developing years. Over time, I began the process of accepting myself and life as it is, of forgiving and releasing what no longer serves me, and of placing my focus on what I love and endeavor to achieve.
Today, I’m filled with gratitude because I now realize that, even in the midst of my most painful experiences, I was never alone. What I call the Body Whisperer was always with me. Though many other labels exist, the Body Whisperer resides deep inside all of us. It is that still small voice, our innate intelligence, the whispering wisdom of the truest part of ourselves. The source of feminine power emanates from this place.
Marketing companies spend billions of dollars to convince us that our power comes from something that we can buy or earn. I kept thinking, if only I would only get that job, meet that man, or look a certain way, I would be happy. I chased these goals for a long time. I often experienced what Dr. Michael Bernard Beckwith would call the “feel-fullment that never leads to true fulfillment.”
When I finally turned inside and listened to that still voice, the Body Whisperer led me to an ancient system of healing that reversed my “incurable” COPD in three months after 27 years of disease and pharmaceutical medications. The Body Whisperer led me to study and teach Qigong (a Chinese practice that gave birth to acupuncture and the martial arts), which rebuilt my lungs from the inside out and expanded my lung capacity back to its pre-disease state. It helped me find my voice and discover my true passion. It gave me the courage to walk away from a very lucrative career, go back to school to become a Doctor of Natural Medicine, and study ancient healing techniques that no one around me respected or understood. It motivated me to own and unapologetically stand in my power. It gave me a sense of identity and purpose. It challenged me to speak my truth. It is why I am still alive to tell my story, and it continually pushes me to level up all aspects of my life. It has always been there, guiding me encouraging me, directing me to that which serves the highest good of all. Most importantly, when I listen, it energizes, heals, and transforms whatever situation I find myself amidst.
What I’ve come to understand about feminine power is rooted in a simple scientific truth. Energy cannot be created or destroyed. Before we were given a name, a gender, became aware of our existence within our family, race, culture, and nationality — before we earned a single title, we had an identity. Then life happened and well or ill-meaning family, friends, teachers, and associates imposed upon us their versions of who they believed we “should” be.
The Body Whisperer is our guide back to our center. When we connect with and allow ourselves to be rooted and grounded in the truest part of ourselves, we cultivate our feminine power and become unstoppable.
In part II of this series, we’ll demystify feminine power and explore cultivating the qualities that empower women from the inside out.