Upspoken

Finding Love in the Time of #TheRona

Casual young black woman realxing at home texting on smartphone and drinking coffeee. Home leisure and tranquility concept. Afro hairstyle model.

Just a few weeks ago it looked like the end of cuffing season was near and that we’d be back to looking for our next Netflix and chill partner. Now, we’re just trying to live semi-normal lives and keep the coronavirus, better known as ‘The Rona,’ away. 

In these times of uncertainty and social distancing, finding love—or even just a break from the monotony of life at home—is possible. And just like always, Upspoken’s got your back with tips for continuing to search for the Barack to your Michelle without putting your health at risk.

Wipe Before you Swipe, Sis

First things first. After nearly two weeks of virtual lockdowns that may only get tighter in the coming weeks, for those of us without a bae to curl up next to, the boredom may be starting to set in, and with that comes the urge to swipe even more than usual. But before you reach for your phone, reach for that cleansing wipe! As we’ve all probably discovered recently, we don’t clean our phone nearly enough. Our phones collect dirt and bacteria throughout the day from all the surfaces we set them on as well as just from our own bodies, and if we aren’t wiping them down, we’re just transferring that bacteria to whatever our phones come into the contact with next. So be sure to wipe down your phone (and case) at least once a day with a cleansing wipe or alcohol to keep the germs to a minimum while you use those fingers to find your social distancing boo.  

Speak It Into Existence

Whether we like it or not, this pandemic is forcing us to slooooowwwwww all the way down. Now is the perfect time to take a step back and use some of your time at home to take stock of past relationships—the good and the bad—and think about what you’re really looking for in a loving relationship. Don’t be afraid to want the best for yourself, Queen. Set high expectations and intentions for the future and the kind of partner you want to bring into your life. Just remember, these intentions are a starting point and should be a bridge to the kind of relationship you deserve rather than a list of criteria for a nonexistent perfect partner that limits you from actually bringing love into your life.    

When You Can’t Meet in the Flesh, Get Intimate Virtually

If you’re being diligent about social distancing, as you should be, that means no in-person meetups for now, but that doesn’t mean you can’t connect with someone special. We can make our social bubbles as small or as big as we want, and there is no time like the present to take advantage of our digital world. So, dress for the occasion (these are still dates after all), grab a drink of your choice, turn on that video chat and get to know someone new, or reconnect with someone old. Either way, a virtual world for two is yours to create. Just remember to protect your privacy and then you can make it as steamy as you like.  😉

Slow Down to Speed Up

If you’ve been looking for a relationship rather than a situationship, and it feels like everyone you meet just wants to move too quickly, now is the perfect time to slow things down. With public health experts everywhere telling us sex and physical intimacy, and even just meeting in person, is a big NO, you have the opportunity to really get to know someone before chasing down that big-O with them. So, strap in, ask the big questions, be vulnerable and explore that deeper connection that goes beyond sex. And when you finally do meet up (after social distancing is put behind us, of course) and you can’t keep your hands off each other, just remember that your sexual health is just as important as the health you were protecting in the time of ‘The Rona.’