The World of Dating Apps – Upspoken

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Love + Relationships

The World of Dating Apps


“You are so pretty…for a Black girl.”

“Wow you’re so exotic looking.”

Boy bai.

As Black women, we’re all too familiar with these comments and have probably heard them a dozen+ times IRL or in our Tinder DMs. It’s also been proven – with data – that Black women are bombarded with racist attitudes and biases when using dating apps.

So, how do we overcome the struggle and own dating apps? Girl, Upspoken got you.

Be in love with yourself.
We know our beauty, power and strength, but let’s face it, dating apps weren’t built for Black women and for better or worse, they’ve exposed the ugly racial biases in dating. So, how do we deal with this mess? Well, simply love yourself, unconditionally. Being joyful and loving your melanin is a radical act of resistance. When you love yourself, you put your needs first and value your mental, emotional and physical health, which makes you sexy as hell. Now, put on your armor of confidence and go own those dating apps. The right person will come along and make the swipes worth it.


Be On.
Use your apps. Frequently. You don’t want to have a great match come to an end because you ain’t putting in the work. Are you the kind of sista that doesn’t check her notifications? Suggest text immediately and make the switch, then you can keep track of all those matches with ease.

Be Authentic.
Show off your true self. Don’t hide your curves or flaws! Be your authentic self to attract a man (or woman) who will love you for you. Put some time into your profile, show them who you are, what you like to do, where you like to go – just don’t compromise who you are for a date. Give them a peek into the REAL you.

Be Open.
Don’t judge a man by his terrible selfie. We know they aren’t as social media savvy as us queens, but give him a chance, swipe right, see if he can hold his own. If he’s funny, nice, and woke, why not take it offline and meet up for a drink or coffee to see if there’s some chemistry. Who knows, maybe you’ll find your Randall.

Be Upspoken.
Get empowered! Be bold, send that first message. Don’t be afraid to say the wrong thing or be a certain way. Share your real self, unfiltered. We’re about building healthy, open and honest relationships from the jump, because you deserve it.

Now go out there and swipe right like the queen you are!


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  1. Jawhara 19/07

    This is exactly the inspo we need. I am still not sure dating apps work for everyone, but it is a great thing to try as I am single this summer!

  2. Savannah 19/07

    👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽 LOVE YOURSELF!!! That kind of confidence shines through, even through tinder 💅🏽💅🏽💅🏽