Filling Our Cup with Care: Building a Relationship With Our Bodies

For many Black trans, cis and femme women, the body has long been a site of survival. Our bodies have carried the history of moments filled accomplishments, resistance and beauty. Throughout history, our bodies have also been required to carry the pain of being misunderstood, policed, dismissed or harmed. When the world is telling us how to look, how to move and how to be, it becomes easy to relate to our bodies through control instead of connection.

But what if your body was not something to fix or manage? What if your body is already wise? Already worthy? Already yours?

This piece is a gentle and affirming invitation to reconnect with your body in ways that are nurturing, curious and loving. Not through judgment or discipline, but through exploration, listening and honoring. This is about filling your own cup, not just with rest, but with presence, pleasure and care.

Below are a few tools to help you begin or deepen your relationship with your body, not as a problem to solve but as a partner in your healing and joy.

Reflection Prompts:

Grab a notebook or voice record yourself responding to these questions. No need for perfect answers. Just honesty.

• When do I feel most at home in my body?
• What messages about my body did I learn growing up?
  Which ones do I want to keep and which ones do I want to release?
• How does my body try to get my attention? Do I listen?
• In what ways has my body protected me? How can I thank it?

Sensory Grounding:

Coming back to the body can be as simple as connecting with your senses. These grounding tools help bring you into the present moment.

Try this:

• Hold something soft or textured. Let your fingers explore the surface slowly.
• Light a candle or spray your favorite scent and breathe in deeply.
• Place one hand on your chest and one on your belly. Feel the rise and fall of your breath.
• Sip a warm drink. Let it rest in your mouth before swallowing. Let yourself feel it nourish you.

These small acts are reminders that you are alive, present and deserving of softness.

Pleasure Mapping:

Pleasure is not just about intimacy with others. It’s about what makes you feel good, grounded and whole.

Take time to explore:

• What feels good on your skin? Try different fabrics, oils or movements.
• What sounds calm you or light you up? Music, nature, laughter?
• Where do you feel safest and most free? Indoors, outdoors, alone, with loved ones?
• What activities bring you joy without needing to be productive?

Make a list or create a collage of your pleasure map. Let it guide you toward rituals and routines that pour back into you.

You Deserve to Be Here Fully

Healing is not linear and relationship building takes time. Some days your body might feel like a stranger. Other days it might feel like home. Wherever you are is enough.

Your body is not a battlefield. It is not a project. It is not a burden.
It is yours. It is sacred. It is the only place you have ever truly lived.

Let this be a beginning or a return. To yourself. To your breath. To your joy.

You are worthy of care that is not rushed. Love that is not earned. Rest that is not apologized for.

Let your cup be full.

With love,
Upspoken & RoyalTea 🫶🏾