Your Body Is Yours: Know Your Sexual Health Rights

Let’s be clear: sexual health is health. It’s not gossip, a punishment, or something you should have to whisper about as if you’re doing something wrong.

You have the right to accurate information, respectful care, and a voice in decisions about your body. For Black women, Black femmes and Black AFAB folks, that includes decisions about sex, contraception, pregnancy, abortion, STI testing, fertility, gender-affirming care and how healthcare professionals speak to and treat you.

And yes, it’s reasonable to be cautious about who you trust with your care. Black patients have a long history of being ignored, mistreated and excluded from medical decision-making. Nonbinary patients may also encounter providers who make assumptions about their bodies, identities, or healthcare needs. If a healthcare visit leaves you feeling talked over, misgendered, dismissed or pressured, you are not being “difficult.” You deserve care that listens to you, respects your identity and supports informed decisions about your health.

That’s also why it’s important to think critically about where you get sexual health information. Think about the conversations in shows like Girlfriends or Insecure: your friends can offer advice that feels honest, relatable and comforting, but even the best advice from people you trust may not tell you everything you need to know.

And yes, give the group chat its credit. A community like Upspoken can help you feel less alone and create a space where you can ask questions, share experiences and talk openly about sexual health. That matters. But your group chat can’t replace a qualified healthcare professional who can provide medically accurate information, answer questions specific to your body and circumstances and respect your choices.

Lean on your community for connection. Talk with trusted healthcare professionals for medical guidance. And never feel like you have to choose between being heard and getting good care.

What You Have the Right to Decide

You have the right to decide:

• Whether to have sex
• What kind of consensual sex to have
  • Take note + keep the receipt: Consent must be voluntary, informed and ongoing. Being in a relationship does not equal automatic consent. Neither does marriage, having had sex before or agreeing to one kind of sexual activity. You can change your mind at any time.
• Whether to use condoms or another form of protection
• Whether to continue or stop sexual activity
• Whether and when to become pregnant
• Whether to seek abortion and what kind of abortion to have
• Which contraceptive method feels right for you
• What information you want to share with a provider

Your Right to Respectful and Inclusive Care

Your provider should use your correct name and pronouns, and respect your gender identity. You can explain which words you use for your body or request a provider with experience caring for Black or LGBTQ+ patients.

For nonbinary AFAB people, sexual and reproductive health care might include contraception, STI prevention, pregnancy care, cervical screening, fertility services, or abortion care. None of those needs cancels out your identity. You should not have to choose between being understood as nonbinary and receiving appropriate medical care.

For Black women, your concerns should not be reduced to stereotypes about pain tolerance, body size, sexual activity or pregnancy intentions. If you know something feels different in your body, it is okay to keep asking questions.

A provider should explain your options in plain language. You can ask about side effects, risks, costs, alternatives, and what happens next. You can also say, “I need a minute to think about that.” You do not have to agree to a test, procedure, medication, or birth-control method simply because you are already in the exam room.

You can request another provider, seek a second opinion, bring someone with you or leave a visit that feels unsafe or disrespectful.

What California Offers

California generally protects access to abortion before fetal viability. After viability, abortion is permitted when, in the treating physician’s good-faith medical judgment, it is necessary to protect the pregnant person’s life or health. Available reproductive health services may include medication abortion, procedural abortion, contraception, emergency contraception, pregnancy testing, STI and HIV testing or treatment, prenatal care and referrals, depending on the provider.

Many California minors can consent to confidential sexual and reproductive health services without parental permission. This includes abortion and pregnancy-related care for minors of any age, and STI/HIV prevention, diagnosis, and treatment for minors age 12 and older. Confidentiality rules and exceptions can vary depending on the service and the circumstances, so patients should ask the provider about confidentiality before receiving care.

California public schools are required under the California Healthy Youth Act to provide comprehensive sexual health education and HIV-prevention education to students in grades 7–12, generally once in middle school and once in high school. Instruction must be age-appropriate, medically accurate, objective, and inclusive. California students also have the right to be excused from school to obtain confidential medical services, including reproductive health services and schools generally may not require parental permission or notify a parent or guardian when the appointment is legally confidential.

That matters because education should give you tools rather than fear. Sex Education made the point repeatedly: people make more informed choices when they have real information and someone willing to answer the uncomfortable questions.

Questions Worth Asking

Bring these questions to a provider:

• “What are all of my options?”
• “What are the side effects and warning signs?”
• “Will this affect my fertility?”
• “How much will this cost?”
• “Will this visit be confidential?”
• “What might appear on my insurance statement?”
• “Can I have a different provider?”
• “Can I bring someone with me?”
• “Can you explain that without medical jargon?”
• “What should I do if my symptoms continue?”

You can also ask whether the clinic offers sliding-scale fees, telehealth, interpretation services, transportation support or referrals to another provider.

Federal Title X-supported programs provide voluntary family-planning services and related preventive care, which may include contraception, STI and HIV education, testing, counseling and referrals.

Keep Your Care on Your Terms

Your group chat may have opinions. Social media may have a whole diagnosis ready before breakfast. A television character may make one decision look universal. But your body, your health history, your gender identity and your needs are specific to you.

Look for care through community health centers, county health departments, family-planning clinics, student health centers, and other licensed providers. Ask what services are available, what they cost and how confidentiality works before sharing more information than you want to share.

You do not need to perform respectability to receive healthcare. You do not need to prove that you are in pain. You do not need to be certain about your decision before asking questions.

Your sexual health rights are about more than access. They are about being informed, being listened to and being treated with dignity. Your body is yours, and your care should reflect that.