All the (Newly) Single Ladies – Upspoken

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Self Care Love + Relationships

All the (Newly) Single Ladies


Sometimes it seems like everyone else is in a relationship, and that if you’re single, you can’t hang out with other couples. Last week, Breegan Jane, LA mom and lifestyle blogger, wrote from her heart on her website about her experience navigating being divorced and being a single mom. She wrote about being excluded from gatherings with couple friends following her divorce and the reasons we need more inclusion, and wow, do we feel heard.

(Source: Breegan Jane)

Breegan reminds us that we live in a world that forces us to categorize and compartmentalize. We label everything because it’s easier. We classify people into groups because it’s harder to imagine anyone fitting outside of the norms we’re accustomed to. However, this isn’t always the most beneficial practice when it comes to people and relationships. Breegan noticed that once she became single, people no longer knew how to categorize her and they grew uncomfortable about inviting her to particular events. She reminds us that ditching the invite is never the way to go. She says:

“Maybe you’re thinking it would be more considerate to skip the invite if those particular guests don’t have husbands or wives since so many others do. I get it. But from a newly single gal to every person who may be struggling with how to be sympathetic to a friend in this position: please stop excluding us.”

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Romantic relationships can offer unique joy and intimacy, but that shouldn’t force us to pigeonhole ourselves into spaces only carved out for couples.

“We’re going to have to figure out how to co-exist with people whose situations don’t mirror our own.”

We couldn’t have said it better ourselves! We love that Breegan is speaking up about her experience and spreading the message that excluding women from spaces based on their marital status is ostracizing and contributes to rigid norms about what motherhood and a fulfilled life look like.

We are all on different paths in life. Whether we’re married, single, partnered or something in between, Breegan gets that we should create spaces for friends to gather beyond the confines of couples. She offers up the important reminder that we all benefit from cultivating and nurturing supportive female friendships.

“Friendships, mom groups, political parties and everything in between all benefit when we seek to come together and understand each other instead of closing ourselves off to anyone we differ from.”

To read the full post from Breegan, “Single Girl in a Coupled World,” click here.