Don’t Put Limits on Your Heart
We are the hosts of The Oprah Rose Show, a podcast for the millennial modern-day woman (and man). Our show’s name is inspired by the dichotomy between Oprah Winfrey and Amber Rose. Oprah is the personification of positivity, growth, and empowerment, while Amber Rose represents a sexually free feminist who is bold, determined and confident.
We are similar to many women who embody this duality. Oprah Rose is unapologetic, vulnerable, ambitious, authentic and self-aware. The Oprah Rose Show is simply a conduit and we are the GPS. We are your cheerleaders, sisters, mentors, and reflections, helping anyone who is willing to listen, navigate through the ups and downs of this crazy of life, towards a better you.
Now, let’s get to the topic at hand.
“I’m not sure…” or “He’s not really my ‘type,’” are statements that we tossed back and forth between each other prior to our current dating partners. “What’s the worst that can happen?,” or “At least give it a try so you can say you did it,” were also the responses that were given in these same conversations in person and on our podcast The Oprah Rose Show.
When you think about it, what are we ever really sure about besides death, taxes, and that too much ice cream and pizza will expand your waistline? Hindsight is 20/20 and neither of us planned on dating people who seemingly weren’t “our type,”. We were the “go with the flow girls,” who probably dated our fair share of men who weren’t good for us. Hopefully, some of what we’ve learned in the last year can help you get out of your own way as well.
I had a checklist of everything I wanted in a man and while my boyfriend met some of my requirements, he wasn’t my typical “type”. He still doesn’t believe this, but I was not remotely interested in him the first time we met but as time progressed and a friendship blossomed, I began to warm up to the idea of us. GG and I had a therapist on an episode of our podcast who said that when we date people who we are friends with first or who we don’t initially have an attraction to, we are our truest selves, no representative or pretense. And so, it began a friendship that quickly morphed into a loving relationship. For so long, I had been my own single, whole woman and was fine with or without a relationship. Out of being open, I learned that I needed someone who intently listens and cares for me, cares about the things that are important to me; I needed someone I can be vulnerable with. A partner who not only helps and gives advice to me but my circle of friends, someone who has never wavered and is present 1000%. No relationship is perfect, but Michelle Obama initially had no interest in Barack Obama and they are seemingly the epitome of #goals.
I initially met my boyfriend at a former job where we worked alongside one another as marketing colleagues. I was never into the ‘shitting where you eat’ concept and I also lived in this perpetual state of not exploring the gentlemen I placed in the friend zone. So, there he sat for roughly six years while I frolicked around New York City looking for prince charming even after my coworker professed his love for me. Our friendship, however, grew exponentially, and because of that, I completely dismissed the thought of a potential relationship. In my mind, if we happened to explore that arena and it didn’t work, it would fracture the friendship we established. This idea eventually began to fade when I looked around at all my failed attempts of true love and companionship. I eventually had to be honest with myself and this existing fear of taking a chance on someone who I never even considered. I was forced to confront my own demon of insanity which consisted of dating the same guys, attacking every love interest with the same strategy, and then ending up angry when I got the same result. I truly had to get out of my own way. You never know where you can find love if you don’t leap.
So ladies (and gents), don’t be afraid to step out on love and uncertainty. Always trust your gut and intuition, and if anything, you’ll have a good story for the next girlfriends outing.